I know that there are many out there who specifically want to give or receive discipline.
For me, however, I'm learning that it's not discipline that I crave-- so much as it is attention.
And I wonder if there are any others out there who have realized something similar... and if so--how do you feel that need is fulfilled?
In what way is our submission granted the craved attention outside of discipline?
For me, however, I'm learning that it's not discipline that I crave-- so much as it is attention.
And I wonder if there are any others out there who have realized something similar... and if so--how do you feel that need is fulfilled?
In what way is our submission granted the craved attention outside of discipline?
4 comments:
Jane,
Out dynamic has never included discipline. I am quite certain there are plenty of folks who would argue it's just not real because of that. Actually - there are a few small rules that have set consequences - those are the ones that are there for his fun and amusement though.
This si a big question, but i honestly think it works better this way for us. He does have expectations, requests, some rules, and an understanding that he can ask anything of me that he wants. Knowing that he has expectations, and his asking things of me do feed my submission. Also his having full access to my body and regular playtime. It's more complex than this - but that's the short answer.
Hi GG,
Your comment about people not considering it real due to a lack of discipline is interesting. I have some theories about that brewing-- probably for a post soon.
But, for the sake of brevity, I think that there are a number of people who would argue the opposite as well-- that if discipline is "necessary" then TTWD is not effective.
I think we are working things out with a non-discipline structure as well. Though I do see the merits of both sides. I'm glad you're finding a method that works best for you.
It's wonderful to have access to so many others' thoughts and ideas regarding the matter here online. But, in the end we each still have to find our own way. I have no idea why that is seems so much more difficult than it "should" be. :)
Thank you for your thoughts.
Best,
JMD
hey Jane, I tried to leave a comment yesterday but I kept getting an error message. I'll try again.
After we decided to take a break from dd, I definately came to the realization that it was more attention that I wanted. DD helped with that, and it didn't. It's complicated. I did find that regardless, being more submissive makes me more attractive to him in multiple ways. I think he found me more pleasant and easier to be around.
Hi Ally--
I am starting to think of it as a stepping stone-- something that may be a nice entry into the world of DD.
I didn't realize that you'd taken a break-- I'm still catching up. It IS complicated though, I agree. There are so many things to think about and it isn't a very black and white undertaking.
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