I train dogs for a living... all kinds of dogs-- including police and military canines. I pull from several techniques and use everything from clickers to "static collars." I try to use every tool wisely and efficiently. I approach positive reinforcement as my foundation; but I do find that the use of negative stimulus can expedite the training process considerably.
Furthermore, in my training, I often negative stimulus as a tool to actually build a shy or timid dog up and make them braver, happier--less fearful and more confident.
Trends right now in training consider the inclusion of negative stimulus in training archaic. I've also seen methods terribly abused... even by certain celebrity trainers who like to work their "magic." Negative in training is never appropriate until there is a clarity of expectations.
I tell my clients that an appropriate correction for one dog can very easily be abuse for another. Look at your dog, if you correct it negatively, does he/she bounce back quickly-- look at their ears and tail. It's expected that the dog will react to stimulus in the moment, whether negative or positive. But, if your dog shuts down, ears down, tail down... and doesn't bounce back... then perhaps you should question your methods.
I have one dog that absolutely shuts down if I am verbally firm with him. For him, it's much easier for me to keep very calm with my voice and happy with my demeanor and issue quick but firm corrections when necessary. I can clearly communicate that I won't abide inappropriate behavior, but he preens when he gets things right and he can hear it in my voice.
For another dog... she can't tolerate physical correction-- she just rolls over on her back and turns tail, but speak to her as firm, loud or aggressively as you like-- her tail won't stop wagging! (It's actually very hard to be firm with her anyways-- she's awfully cute).
There are some things that are absolutely, non-negotiably abuse. But there are some things that are in a gray area. I think abuse is something that breaks the spirit. Discipline, on the other hand, strengthens. We all feel connected and disconnected in different ways and by different triggers. It's okay to desire discipline-- and to give it as well.
All of this dog talk is my way of thinking through parallels which may offer clarity to myself as to why I might desire such a relationship as TTWD offers.
In my relationship, staying mutually silent after a disagreement and going our separate ways is far more damaging to me than a little physical soreness to aid in working out our differences.
The results are what's most telling. When I look at the dogs I work with, sometimes there is something negative that must be addressed to move forward. I can spend 2 minutes addressing it through appropriate negative stimulus, and then the other 58 minutes of the training hour can be spent enjoying the dog's company in fun and engaging training... or I can try to be "nice" and spend 58 minutes nagging the dog waiting for those two minutes as an attempt to capture what may not even be intentional or clear good behavior.
It's important to temper rather than tear... in order to establish expectations. In the relationships I have with the dogs that I work with my goal is not to achieve friendship-- it's to achieve a partnership. Friendship is easy, partnership requires much greater communication, respect and rapport.
On a, clearly, very different level I also seek a partnership with my husband. Why I crave for it to be structured as I do I cannot say... but given my line of work I do wonder if there is a level of instinct which drives my desire.
*As a side note, I would like to mention that all negative stimulus is applied using appropriate tools and circumstances. I do not hit, kick or otherwise "beat" the dogs. I don't rely on negative training as my primary tool either. It is, however, part of my arsenal and when used appropriately it is effective in building respect and expectations.
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